Author: williamwallace
OPINION – The Republican Tax Plan is Great!*
The Republican Tax Overhaul Bill is Amazing! It is passing so fairly! Every study says it will grow the economy so much! Lots of jobs! The unemployment rate will go […]
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Kyrie Irving’s Stellar Celtics Debut Proves the Earth is Flat
Kyrie Irving has had an incredible start to the NBA season. Since losing teammate Gordon Hayward to a season-ending injury, Kyrie’s Boston Celtics rocketed to the top of the standings […]
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Whoops
The email address we’ve been sharing is wrong. All of our illustrious contributors can be reached at [email protected]. Any other email is fake news. Lies and deception did not intend […]
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World Jealous of Taliban Prisoner for not Knowing Trump was President
TORONTO – Worldwide showers of envy have rained down on Joshua Boyle, a Canadian-American man recently released along with his family from an isolated five-year imprisonment by the Taliban, for […]
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Houston Magically Restored After World Series Win
HOUSTON – Reeling for weeks since the catastrophic flooding of Hurricane Harvey, the great city of Houston has been restored to perfect condition, perhaps by the gods, following the World […]
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Fox News Debuts “Shiny Object Dangling”
NEW YORK – Fox News, the top cable news provider in the United States, debuted its newest program last night, Shiny Object Dangling. The primetime show features various items of […]
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Gen. John Kelly Momentarily Forgets President Trump Exists
WASHINGTON – White House Chief of Staff General John Kelly had a momentary brain fart at a press conference yesterday, forgetting, despite his best efforts, to recall the name, character, […]
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The Onion Sues Trump Administration for Stealing All Their Ideas
CHICAGO: The Onion, a satirical news source known for outrageous headlines of impossible-to-believe stories, is suing the Trump Administration for stealing so many of their ideas and attempting to make […]
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University of Virginia Students, Furious at Trump and Republicans, Unsure what to do Instead of Voting on Election Day
CHARLOTTESVILLE: Students at the University of Virginia here in Charlottesville are angry, and with Election Day approaching fast, many are struggling to come up with what to do instead of […]
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NHL Players Kneel For US Anthem, Slip, and Fall on Their Faces
NEW YORK: NHL players attempted to kneel in protest during the American National Anthem Sunday, but were unable to keep their balance and fell on their faces. Hockey players for […]
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